so today i felt bad for not posting some stuff and i wanted to say sorry for that. there has alot been going on in my life where i needed alot of time for myself to recharch and think about myself and how i want to go on. i also haven't been feeling to good lattely and try to be still positive and work hard. it has just come in the way to upload stuff and i want to say sorry for that. for the time i missed i will write a story you guy's mabey will enjoy.
i close my eyes and want to go away. the noise of my classmates are echoing trough my head and it gets on my nerves. the headache i had before had gotten worse, and the girl with blond curly hair just screams trough the class room and to me it sounds like someone is going with there nails over a chalk board. i finally can shut myself off from the others and lay with my head on the cold wooden table. my arms feel warm and i feel my breath coming back from the wooden table but i feel more comfortable.
than suddenly the sounds stops, it feels like everything stopped. i look up to see what is going on and realize i'm not on the place where i was before. it's all black not just the floor but everything around me as well, the weirdest part is that i have no idea what to do or how to get out of it. suddenly i see two little flashes of light in the distance.
it is a familiar light or somthing that i knew for a long time. i try to stand up and walk to the lights even though it is hard to see where i am going and if i'm going straight but after a little while walking with an insecure feeling to the light i am there.
it's weird when i finally stand in front of the lights. it seems like they are dancing slowely around each other and making different faces. suddenly my heart stops for a second because i see old friends coming by. people who went away and people who betrayed my trust. i couldn't believe my eyes and saw them one by one going by. it seemed like the lights wanted me to see somthing but what it was i didn't know personally. what was going on? and why was i here?
suddenly the lights stop and one face shows. my eyes widden and i feel the little hairs on my arm stand up. it's the person i hurt most. i feel ashamed of myself and don't know what to do when i see it. than the face changes... it's a good friend of mine or atleast was until she betrayed me, than the next and the next face everytime i remembered what i did or what they did the face changed. it was like the lights where trying to let me remember,
Face after face i remembered good, and bad things. people who betrayed you and people you hurt with honesty, good friends and friends who are lost in time forever and you'll never get back. my mind goes back and forth between what happend with each person and i remember all of them. i just wonder why.
i felt a deep feeling coming over me. like i finally could feel the burden of the thing i was carying for the first time. i sit down on the black ground where i can look at the lights dancing around each other. finally i know that what i saw with the faces didn't matter it mattered i could inspire people even if it's hard and that even in the dark the little lights even if they came from somthing bad can give you a spark of hope to help and inspire others.