So Hey Everyone,

It has been a while hasn’t it. I think it has been almost 2 months sinds I posted anything at least with writing and since some time some stuff has happened. So I will put this post into parts. Kinda like topics I will talk about briefly or pretty long because idk I always talk way to much and that probably won’t change at all :p anyway I’ll start from what I know and the topic I think of first.

 

My first VR experience:
So the first thing I think of is my VR experience. Idk why but I like it. So this is quite a fond memory of mine even though it isn’t long but I enjoy it. So for my college there was a kind of a event going on. A lot of people from the gaming business side came to my college to check out new tech or something like that or they could show of idk. It was vague and idk to be honest why they where there but there was vr.

My professor or teacher whatever you want to call them said that if your done with school or in your half hour break you could go to a small van outside where they would show vr. So of course I was like yes of course I will do this no problem. Not that I said it but I really wanted to check it out because I am really vaccinated by that kind of stuff.

So in my break I went down stairs on the first floor where they had food….. that made me kinda of irritated in a manner. So to explain in my school your not allowed to eat. Like nowhere not in the building at least or non of the buildings. The only place your allowed to eat is outside (not fun when it’s cold) en in the cafeteria and because we share it with a high school (and that sucks) it is always very busy there so I usually am like a ninja and eat my food in the building. But because businessman where there…. They where allowed to eat….in. the. Building. (there hypocrites to be honest) yah wasn’t happy about that. Some meetings do that to not happy with that. Anyway….

So after class I decided to check it out. Because it isn’t waiting for the bus for to long I went there with my friend who I will call S. I decided to drag her along into my curiosity. I kinda saw it coming that it was the hights game vr experience and if people know me I have a healthy kind of fear of hights.

So I stepped in the van and just said to the people talking (and I clearly interrupted them XD ) with the sentence ‘’Hey, I am a curious student who wants to check out vr’’ I don’t know why but you know why not. One poor guy got left behind on his own and the other 3 left XD oops for him seemed like he had a good conversation but to bad.

So I stepped in the van and to be clear all the walls of the van where made of glass so everyone outside could see what you where doing. Luckly It was slightly raining so nobody was outside and I was in the van.

Anyway so I put my bag in the corner, my friend S sat on the bench next to my bag to keep an eye on it and eventually laugh at me but yah. So I put on the vr headset and it was pretty sick. In the game you had to step into the elevator and here is the akward thing. I jumped straight into the window of the van wall XD that’s how real your brain makes it feel. Of course I had to laugh at myself but I didn’t know what the boundaries where from the thing and I never used vr so it was totally new for me. If the man laughed at me I wouldn’t blame him. I laughed at myself to be honest and I still do. So to continue in the game you step into an elevator of a sky scrapper and then press on a button to go all the way to the top.

Of course I am afraid of hights so this was great. And then you have to walk out onto a plank that hangs outside the sky scrapper. And the assholes as well (what I didn’t notice) let the van move when you stood on the wooden plank. Anyway that was terrifying I think I stood looking over the edge for quite some time like a couple of minutes but later I stood on the edge. I first stood on half and then on the edge. The fun thing is with me I can do it I just have to calm down take a breath and then just jump. The terrifying thing is that with that game if you actually jump off the game lets you see that you fall what I wasn’t ready to see so I did everything I could to prevent that. S told me later she wanted to see me fall (of course she is a little devil after all but not as bad as me because I would have pushed her if she had the balls to go in vr)

But the side effects where that my legs started shacking and while staring over the edge I started to ramble how fascinating I found it how the science works and stuff like that because I am like that XD S told me that the guy who was there as well just was looking at me bored with the face ‘’like I don’t know’’ I think he got a little tired of me XD but I don’t care I had a good time but I also wasn’t talking to him I told S as well. I tried to put her into the vr but she didn’t want to.

Anyway when I stood on the edge I jumped back into the elevator and was done. It took me 20 minutes to stop shacking XD but I don’t regret the choice but next time I don’t want anything with hights unless it’s a rolercoaster. I like those.

 

My study until now:
Anyway next topic and that is for my study. So as you can hear my school is quite technical as well as creative what is soooo awesome and gives me so many opportunities what is amazing. For the study that I choose I feel right at my place and I improved a lot just the problem is that I feel insecure sometimes because there a lot of amazing artists around me that are so sweet and also friends of mine but there so good.. what makes me feel insecure but I am becoming better. I love the people and the teachers that I have around me and this is the first school I feel completely at home in. what is great. I only have one person I kinda dislike but not really and further than that everyone has been great and I have made some great friends that I hope to keep for a long time. Even though I am really akward sometimes the fact that I can be myself in a couple of months already is mindblowing to me because the first 10 years of my school life I have had just 1 or 2 friends and now it turned into so much more. And it means the world to me.

 

My break up (twice) :
So to another topic but this time it’s faster because I talked to much in the vr section. So In my last relationship I have been through 2 break ups. Btw no harm to this guy he is still really sweet he is just troubled I think and I am willing to help him out if he lets him (but he needs to get of his ass and stay in contact with me and also he has never harmed me with words or action he just didn’t put in efford what resulted into this)

Anyway like I said before I have been through 2 break ups with him what lead to this last break up and we are officially over. I don’t think we will ever be together again as well but that is from my side because he completely lost my trust. Anyway so what happened was in the first time he idk why saw me more as a sister and it didn’t feel right (in one of my posts called ‘’where have I been?’’ I talked about it more into details it’s latterly the one before this XD) but yah he called me a sister and broke it off with me. He had to go to the bus and he realized that he made a mistake so an hour later while I was so hurt I got suiscidle (not only from the break up but a lot of things where going on) he said to me that he made a mistake and he wants me back. I told him clearly ‘’that is fine. I will forgive you but I won’t forget it and you will have to work your ass of to get your trust back that you lost’’ that day not only lost my trust but he broke my heart into a million peaces where I started to love him less but cared enough to give him another chance. in the months after instead of doing something about it he started to see me less where I of course got upset about because it’s a long distant relationship and I needed to know if he was okay. He didn’t take the time and seeing each other from 6 hours a day went to 3 hours went to one hour went to 30 minutes turned into 20 minutes into 10 minutes until we didn’t see each other at all while I said I needed to see him atleast an hour In the day. For me it felt like he started to push me farther away. I started to thinking about breaking up with him and I told him I needed to talk but I never came to it.

Until the day he didn’t even react to my messages at all. That day I wanted to send to him. ‘’it’s over I am done waiting for you’’ or ‘’I am sorry but I can’t keep this up it’s over between us’’ or something along those lines but instead of me doing it I saw it coming and he broke up with me that evening. The worst part is I didn’t even cry. I was more upset and I ranted about that again people are leaving me and that again I am losing people I care about and that he would stop paying attention to me and forget me completely and things like that. I shouldn’t have done that and I might have a been a bit to harsh but I have experience and trauma’s of people leaving. We decided to stay friends and he said he would stay in contact. Until this day he hasn’t disappeared but he hasn’t shown that he cares either. He is lost from what I have seen and I want to help but I am not sure if I am willing to risk to lose myself but I pity him.

I hope he will be okay and we can be friends in the end because he stays a nice guy.

I hope this relationship doesn’t like my relationship before just in a wreck. I honestly don’t want to lose a good friend who I can tell stuff about anything.

 

Comic con 2018:
Anyway so to a lighter topic. This year I went to winter comic con 2018 and to be honest it was amazing. I went on Saturday and Sunday and wasn’t exhausted afterwards either what I am so surprised about. Anyway I saw some amazing friends (one from NG ‘’hi Even’’ ) and I went with a lot of my friends and had the best time. I met some new friends (from friends that I know for a while now), I played exploding kittens the card game with gigantic cards like twice the size of a person (what was amazing) and we even won (we played that on Sunday and we got like the pocket version of exploding kittens what is still freaking cool) I went on 3 pictures because people asked what was freaking awesome and they where so adorable ^^ (it where 3 different younger girls) I went on pictures with other cosplayers from games (like delta ruin and Detroit become human) even saw a whole Detroit become human marge with them screaming ‘’where living beings to’’ what was awesome and I just had fun with making a lot of pictures and walking around in cosplay. Even when I went home with the train I saw this little kid in there. For me I had to wait 30 to 40 minutes in the cold outside and the next train wasn’t mine but there was this little kid (because there was this event going on so a lot of adults with there kids where in that train) but the train was full and I saw that cute kid. I smiled and it was shy so it hid behind his mother but when the train drove away the kid just jumped and smiled and waved at me. That litterly made my whole day better.

So as you can hear that was fantastic. I enjoyed myself so much. I can’t wait to go to even larger conventions and make even more cosplays (I was a jack frost btw) and I bought some merch as well what I was happy about. I got even stuff for free just as my friends. Some idiots bought two boxes of 20 bucks (so they wasted 20 bucks) and they didn’t like what was in the box so they just gave it away to us. I got some tissues with the case having litterly the most beautiful art, a mug from the game ‘’the talos principle’’ and I got some black ups 3 coasters (I don’t play it but I liked the skulls). My friend got the same mug as me, a hearstone stress ball and some other stuff and another of her friends got a mug of the last uncharted and he got something else not sure what. But that was pretty cool ^^ I enjoyed myself so much and hope to go in the future as well.

 

Projects in the future:

So what I am working on right now are scripts mostly. I have some ready for @TheEighthHour so he only has to give me the sign and I can send it to him. The other voice actors haven’t reacted back yet although I know one is in a tough position but the other 2 are just gone idk why so If your intressted or know someone who is intressted in voice acting send them to me I have some stuff laying around that I would love to collab on ^^ further than that I have been busy so writing a big story isn’t really what I have been doing. I have been working on a game for college so maybe I can post that but I don’t think so but maybe who know. I’ll see in the future I have been thinking about doing a pod cast with someone else but that’s also for the future.

How am i?:
I will get into this later on. Otherwise it will get to much XD

 

How are you?:
So I talked a lot about myself. I was wondering how are you? I know a lot of people have a lot of things going on and I wanted to make sure if everyone was okay as wel as I am curious ^^ I hope of course that everyone is doing good (but I can’t excpect that) anyway if you want to tell me don’t hesitate I would love to hear or even help out. And also congrats you got to the end ^^ it was a lot to read and write XD sorry for the text bomb I let off :p anyway I hope everyone is doing okay and that everyone is having a good day otherwise I wish you the best and hope it gets better.

 

So that’s it I am all talked out (not really but otherwise I am afraid it won’t fit on here XD)
Anyway I hope to hear from you all later ^^

~N

Two Feet - Lost The Game
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2ZW_94DyYM

grandson - Bury Me Face Down (Audio)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLbqnmvLPKE

 

SIAMÉS "Mr. FEAR" [Official Animated Music Video]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKLWC93nvAU

Death Parade AMV - Feeling Good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=335VEasxI2E

Two Feet - Back Of My Mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siLNp7HO66E

 

Nightcore ↬ Blame It On The Kids [lyrics]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aGhJmF7i6s

Nightcore ↬ I Don't Exist [lyrics]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzgwqhgg9t8

 

Unlike Pluto - Now I Don't Care
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wn2g764Tnw8

5 Seconds Of Summer - Valentine (Official Audio)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIvvitrK49Q