so as some might now a couple weeks some guy coppied my stuff as well as my friends. the update for that is he deleted all his posts except from one that i guess is his own but i am not sure. (if you want to check it out in another post i talked about. it's called: (a warning for everyone) what i absolutly not appreaciate. i here tried explaining what happend the icon of the guy is a blue background with a white cartoon character) anyway i wanted to tell you all what has been going trough my mind since then.
of course i had my awesome friend who had is birthday what i am so happy about that he liked his birthday gift and i made an awesome relationship where i am happy in as well been to my first party (that i am wanted at) with LGBTQ+ people (what was so awesome and i felt so at home) but beside that doubt has been going through my head.
the guy who copied just a post gave me doubt about alot of things. the biggest doubt i have is on NG itself. i of course try to trust everyone as much as i can and take there word as they are and expect them to say the truth but because of him i started to doubt some of my own help.
i always react on posts from people and before him i did it alot even if it was a small post or something like i am new here. i always commented on them and gave advice to people as well as welcome them to NG. right now with every post i check out i litterly doubt if i have to comment something in case someone has other intentions. my mind goes wild and i doubt that i would even help out and that people will take advantage of something i did. i didn't have it bad and i know that but i already have trust issues with letting people into my life and this gave it a massive kick back to where i was before what sucks alot. i know i had a small taste of what people have to go through dailly and for me this already gives me something i worry about for a week now what is totall bullsh*t because i shouldn't care but i do.
for me taking or copying something without asking something from someone is like taking a peace of them away. it's something that is or was close to them and just pretending it is you what isn't okay. for me personally this makes me sick to my stumach litterly and it effects something in my life what is helping people and letting them feel like there welcome. i love doing this and making people feel like there wanted here and showing them that there are people who care about what you have to say and giving advice to people who really need it. i like doing that because that's the only thing that makes me feel less worthless about myself, because i feel like i have a purpose and that is making people feel better. support is the biggest thing you can give someone and if i am the one who can do that i want to be that person. but because of this one effent i look at every move i make, think about every out come and makes me doubt helping people what i hate about myself right now. it's not okay to me that i am doubting it. and i am sorry because of this if i can't be there for someone even if it is a small thing. i wanted to say i am sorry.
i hope i can doubt myself less and less sooner and be back again helping out as many people as i can but right now
everything i do i doubt and unfortunally i can't do anything about that. anyway if you ever need my help my inbox is open and i will try to help you if i can. anyway i hope to be feeling less doubt soon.
anyway i hope you all are having an awesome day ^^
(also enjoy the new music i found ^^ )