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Welcome to my little corner of the internet, you can call me Nyana and i am a tomboy or how i call it nonbinary. you will mostly find story's and handmade drawings of mine. i try to stay positive and bright up people's day. i hope you enjoy my content ^_^

n/a

somewhere in space <3

10/7/15

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Dream: On life support

Posted by NyanaCreation - 3 weeks ago


Hey Guys, 
this will be a very different post than normal but i needed to get it off my chest.you must understand that this 
was really realistic for me in the dream and i was really terrified. the feelings of loss, despair, sadness and all the 
sad emotions that come to you when you lose someone or yourself forever where there and they where real. i hope 
you can understand that this is not a dream where you can know it was just a dream. for me it was like it happend in real life and that makes it even worse. i hope you can show respect for that.

So as some of you know I have been suffering from night terrors for the longest time. Luckly most of my dreams are not to bad ,and I can go trough with my day. Four dreams messed me up though.  I realized how messed up my head really was. From when I was a little kid I have been suffering from them and when I got older I suffered more and more of them. It went so far that I went to my biology teacher to ask if I was okay. I saw my friends explode and blood everywhere. (if you are intressted comment and I will tell that dream) I was really scared that something was really wrong with me and the teacher told me it was just a system to help me deal with my problems. I thought that was insane because I saw my friends, or family get murdered or I have to kill them for some reason or I am in a situation where I get almost raped or are in a life threatening situation what is terrifying.  Luckly they are dreams but they can mess you up really well.

Last night I had my first really calm but terrifying dream. Most of my dreams are chaos. I need to run or try to save my friends. I need to find a save space while there is no save space but this was not that. So let me start the story.

My dream started with someone I apparently loved. i knew this person really well and I loved them very well. They where not female or male they where non-binary and I loved them so much I would do anything to save them if it came to that. We decided to go swimming in this beautiful ocean. We had planned this for a couple days now and we enjoyed it. Until it went wrong.

So we of course decided to go into the water to go swimming. When we went into the water we became so magical creature. We still had feet and all that but we could stay longer under water. My partner loved this and became a bit reckless and then it went wrong. She cut herself on something and then everything got more blurry for me. I can just remember a lot of blood everywhere and seeing the water turn red while they floated unconcise in the water and me just covered in blood trying deprate to save them.

I wanted to save them and they where losing a lot of blood. I knew apparently how to transfer blood and I almost killed myself with that. Eventually I couldn’t stay focused anymore and I fainted. This is terrifying because I have never fainted before. When I woke up in the dream I was on life support. They where trying to transfer blood over to me because I gave to much away. It was chaos around me and I had a cap over my mouth. Everything was a haze for me because they gave me a lot of medicine to keep the pain away. The chaos seemed not like chaos though. It was all such a haze then it was just moving blurry colors. It was kinda peacefull when I didn’t realize I was on life support.

Hospitals don’t freak me out but I don’t like them at all because of some personal reasons. when it was blurry I fell asleep again because some doctor did some stuff in my (I don’t know what it is called but I just fell asleep) anyway when I woke up I freaked out a little bit. The hospital was really empty and there was no sound or people walking around. I realized what happend or atleast parts of what happened and it scared me so much. I was not afraid to die at all but I was afraid of the pain I would leave behind for my parent and my friends. I was scared that some might never know what happened and thought I abandoned them what was not true. I was afraid I left behind so much beautiful people who I would hurt so much and I never want that. I started to panic and I tried to cut myself lose of all the needles and machines and just wires. I stood up and when I got into the hall way I guess I collapsed and then I woke up for real. I still remember the doctors trying to save me. I don’t remember there faces and I remember trying to get away what was not a smart idea because I was still on life support. I don’t know what the end of the dream is. Mabey I woke up and recovered after months, mabey I died in the hall way and left behind so many friends and family members and mabey I got found on the edge of death. I will never know but when I woke up I was a bit in shock. I was glad I was not in a hospital and I was not on life support but it was a scary experience for sure.

I just want to share my story because I know how terrifying it can be. Dreams or night terrors can give such a realistic feeling that you can be stuck with for weeks or days or months. I want to give people support and let you know that it is okay and if you have terrifying dreams that your not alone and that there are a lot of people wanting to support you.

I hope you enjoyed reading my night terror.

~N

(update: i didn't put in some music when i posted this yesterday but i will now. here are some songs i hope you enjoy them)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QA16rYNnwT0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etJ5SfCEHp0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfxsYRgmtpo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHHIDlRFVM0


5

Comments (10)

I don't have any experience on the subject, so I can't offer much advice, but I just wanted to show some support. Try to remember they're just dreams, and always keep that in mind. You've obviously tried that already, but it's all the advice I have.

thanks for trying to show support and i know they are just dreams but i think when you would ever experience what i have seen that you would be very suprised and would react a bit the same way. but thanks for trying though ^^ (also i put in some music under the text you mabey enjoy lissening to it.)

Have you tried talking to a professional therapist? They might be able to help you with your mental health before it gets worse.

like i said in a post i went to a biology teacher who knew alot about stuff like that. right now i don't want to go to a therapist. it is not that i am stubborn but i have been in sesions in the past (not going into it) and i doubt i want to do that now. thanks for trying though. (also i have put in some music under the text. mabey you enjoy some new music. i hope you like it. just letting you know) thanks for reading my post.

Oh dear,that's terrible to hear and I hope those dreams didn't affect you too much.
I have done some reading about dreams and their meanings and it turns out that while it has been said that dreams are nothing more than just dreams,they actually reflect on one's quality of life.If we are stressed or sad while we're awake,there's a chance our minds will replay these moments in the form of our dreams/nightmares while we're asleep and sometimes,they can appear quite scary.I am not an expert in this but I suppose the mind works like a tape recorder,it records events and then unconsciously(?) replays them later.The best way to deal with this to try and relax your mind before bed by listening to music or doing your favourite activity to take your mind off those bad times or simply talk to someone you trust about it and seek advice from them.For now,these are a few of the ways I can think of,I will try to come up with more and then share them with you.Take care and get better soon,my friend!

Here's an article that I read from,hope it helps!:
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/dreamscloud/you-will-never-view-viole_b_12317982.html

don't worry this one was not my biggest effect. i have had ones i was upset about for a couple days and a couple repeating what was not fun. this dream just shocked me a bit in the morning. in my past dreams i woke up crying and stuff so this was okay. thanks for worrying though ^^
and yes i know about the brain proscesing. i actually learned about it the day before you commented this :p what is an coinsidence probebly :p what i learned is this: with dreaming or asleep your eyes can go fast from right to left. the brain then thinks it through and repeats the day, this way it makes it from a short a long term memorie. if the memorie isn't procest right it keeps trying to store it over and over again while it can't this can cause dreams about the situation unfortunally for me it is not a repeat of the day but a horrfying experience. anyway that is what i learned. it is a way of storing memories and processing thoughts, emotions and the day itself. i am of course no expert but this is what i learned. i hope you found that helpfull. and thanks for the article i mabey will read it later ^^ thanks for the support.

(also i put some new music in you might enjoy lissening to. it is under the post itself so i hope you like them)

this is really long you strive to make these post and I congratulate you are good at doing it ;)

i am not really sure what you mean by this but i guess thank you. (thanks for reading as well that means alot. i also updated the post with some new music that i found mabey you enjoy the music and lissen to it. thanks for reading my post btw ^^ )

@MchectorII @NyanaCreation Thank goodness,that's good to hear!Don't worry too much about those bad dreams and if you feel like talking about it,feel free to do so(like your post above).Also,thanks for the music!

Wow. What a terrifying dream, Nyana :(
I would also be scared if experienced all the terror you did in this latest dream. (Almost?) losing your partner, almost sacrificing yourself so that they could live, by transferring your blood. Then the first scene in the hospital, then the silence... oufh, I really hope you never dream anything like that again!

You know I've had some pretty disturbing, unsettling, and creepy nightmares, 1 was especially bad. Those have awoken me, with a feeling of horror to go along with the images from the nightmare, and anyone who have had bad nightmares, know it's not pleasant.

It's 1 thing to see your brain create the dream and experience the nightmare. That's bad enough. Another thing, that comes later is "why?". When I get a nightmare, I'm rarely sure of the cause of it. You know I like to overthink... I come with theories: "Why did my brain come up with something so sick and/or scary? Is it to be mean, to show me what I fear? Is it an attempt from my subconscious to challenge my conscious side? Or is it just what I've thought, heard, seen and read today or the last couple of days, but infused with some terror?" What do you think, Nyana?

The answer, for me, varies with the nightmare. Sometimes I don't reach a conclusion at all. I sometimes try my best, and succeed, in pushing the nightmare away, to the edge of my memory... when I think and write about these kinds of things, nightmares, my worst one comes back, but only for a moment. Sorry, I'm ranting again.

The study of dreams and nightmares is a fascinating topic in my opinion. It's personal psychology. It's also psychology on a larger scale if the nightmare is clearly inspired by an event witnessed by many people (for example an event in a video game bought by thousands).

Anyway, dreams and nightmares have mattered for as long as they have existed. The Pharaohs of ancient Egypt were very serious about interpreting dreams and nightmares, and their priests and oracles would analyze them to figure out what they meant, if the dream/nightmare was indicating a good or bad event that was going to happen. These days, dream-study is not as visible in our western society, but I hope that can chance. A lot can be learned about the mind, and from the mind, by thinking about what and why we experienced what we did in our REM-sleep (Rapid Eye Movement, that's the fast eye-movement phase of our sleep, when they move right/left quickly, as you mentioned in a comment ;) )

But know this, Nyana: we, your fans, are all willing to help you and talk to you about anything bad you share with us. And we are here to share the joys when they come ^_^

P.S.:
That thing that happened to you when you were "forced" to sleep in the hospital, but wasn't sure which word it was... was it "sedated"? Did the doctor use narcosis on you? Because when a person get narcosis, then they do actually get a breathing mask over their face, and are asked to slowly count backwards from 10 to 1, at least in my case. I don't think I came to 6 xD

Ow that sounds like a very terrifying situation! I share these experiences with you, althought it wasn't this year, in the past I had dreams where I was shot (and the sensation in the body was so real, I even woke up with chest pain). And I remember another time when i dreamt of something falling down in my city, like 3 huge meteors, and the last one was falling where I was with friends, and I just kept there seeing it fall and losing hope, and the everything turned white , and in the dream I was like "wow, so this is the end, all white, all empty), it was horrible >_<

You have my support too :), when you share your experiences I'm sure everyone can feel identified, and we can notice we're not alone, that we share a lot of things and can overcome them together :)

Terrifying. Those really are terrible. My dreams are similar (realistic; you think you're actually in the situation; lucid), and they wake me up in terror. Hope it gets better eventually, I'll keep you in my prayers.
Reading your account of the dream actually inspired me to write a song, which is called Night Terror partly because of the nature of the song, and partly because of this story you recounted. Should be done in the near future.
Again, best wishes to you. Praying that it'll get better.

i am sorry you have the same terrors. it sucks alot. i have had them from when i was little so i learned how to deal with it and move on luckly this was one of them but it was still something that means something to me because in the future i have to go to an hospital for a huge research what scares me. anyway thanks for thinking of me in your prayers i know how much that can mean. anyway i am atleast glad i inspired you. i wanted to share this story to tell people they are not alone and it means so much to me. i will deventually look up your song and lissen to it. please pm me when it is done i would love to lissen to it. anyway i can't say your in my prayers (because i don't pray) but i wish you the best of luck and if you ever want to talk or vent about anything my pm box is open and i will try you as much as i can ^^ anyway i wish you the best of luck and again thank you so much for saying all that.

I have had an experience like this. my family was slowing getting murdered while i was asleep. in each dream, one more of my family members were found dead in a different way. one of them was so brutal i almost threw up. in the dream, and in real life. in the end, the final dream i had a gun, and the killer was infront of me. I had 2 choices. do nothing and die, or shoot the killer.In the end, i ended it all and shot the killer. It ws very upsetting for me. THIS LASTED FOR ABOUT A MONTH!

Damn that is brutal. i haven't had that for nightmares. i have seen my friends explode in a smal room and was covered in blood, also in one room i was tied up and got almost raped what was freaking terfying. i saw my dad get murdered after we had a fight and i saw him murdered behind me before i could do something and in one i had to murder him what is terrible. i never got to shoot the killer or i got killed myself in dreams. it is really terryfing. to be honest i don't have family. not beside my parent and the rest of the family doesn't care or i don't know so family isn't a part of my life but i had one onces. i can understand how upsetting it is and i really hope it has been getting better for you.

I know that feeling, I had some ex Experiences like that before, in nightmare too, not for real, obviously. I know the feeling of being unable to do anything while our loved one are dying, feeling left alone or feeling like a burden to everyone else. It’s scary how deep It can affect your emotions and all that. I know that feeling. It stick with you.

thanks for sharing that with me. i know how it can be very personal to say that. anyway i got used to it what is kinda destrubing but i can live with it. i am glad people like you understand me and stick with me and i appreaciate it alot. so thank you for that.