So as some might ask hmm... what would they write this time. i most of the time don't even write at this time because usually i need to go to my classes. (for me it's pretty early so that's why) anyway one of my classes fell out this morning so i have all the time of the world right now what is funny because usually after classes i am not able to write unless i am in the mood for it. kinda weird right? anyway it's that way and because i have alot of time right now and i don't have anything else to do with the time i desided to talk on here.
The last couple of weeks i have been watching Ash Hardell (youtube channel) she talks alot about LGBTQ+ things and that intrest me alot. for me it's more about understanding other people in the LGBTQ+ community and having it easier in the future and i am also intressted in how there life is because of what kind of LBGTQ+ they are. most of the people i have seen and met are awesome, friendly and open minded people and i am happy because of that but there are some people that don't have that. it's sad but it's true, atleast you have alot of awesome people in the world who make up for that.
Why i wanted to talk about the LGBTQ+ is because i have noticed with my place i live in people have heard of the word but they don't really know what it is because one: they have never had to ''deal'' with such a situation themself. two: don't know anyone who is part of the community or three: they just don't know what it is, but heard it once or twice. with me that is fine. unfortunatly there are some people who know what it is and spread hate about it and for me thats sad. the LGBTQ+ is a community that is full off love. some groups don't understand each other and that is something that goes on in the community, but that is normal for what i see. there are always people in other communities as well that don't understand each other, and that is fine. if people tried to understand each other than i think everything would be fine and everything can be talked out then.
If you read all of that above props to you your stubborn or someone who loves reading can be eather one to be honest but thanks ^^
Anyway as some might know i am a ''member'' of the LBGTQ+ community and i love it. for me it's something special to be honest. of course i said member but your not really a member. if you are in one of the labels in LGBTQ+ you are in the community and you don't have to do something weird to get in. the community is like a second home to me. i have seen alot of awesome people that are loving and that makes me really happy. some things i can't discus with my friends about LGBTQ+ and i haven't told them about some things because it would cause trouble. i find that troubeling because it is something i have to carry around without being open about it. it's like hiding who you are but with the community it's just awesome because i can be myself and most people don't judge you for that.
so for the people who don't know me i will explain kinda who i am in the LGBTQ+ community. for the easy start like 1 and a half year ago i started to discover myself more and more. before that i had a freaking hard time and couldn't focus on anything but the problems that where going on in my life. they where not light hearted and it took up all my time as well as energy, because of that i never got the chance to think about who i wanted to be and who i am. until then. first i discovered i was something called bisexual or how i call it Bi. for me that meant at the time i can love men and woman. easy and simple. but i changed that a couple months ago. i changed it to Pansexual because that means for me that i can love anyone in between as well. and for me that is one thing i love about me (what i don't say often) i am really happy it doesn't matter for me what gender or sex you are because for me it matters if i like you or not and if you have a good personallity. also i am a non-binary/trans person. i haven't admit it to anyone atleast not face to face to someone in my real life. because that shit is scary. it's not a hey i am this and than your done but it's also that you get alot of shit about it because alot of people say you can't be both. and i dissagree. Ash Hardell changed my mind on that so much, because i thought it's one or the other but they told me it doesn't have to be that way. here is a video she has about talking about being trans or atleast saying it for th first time about them self, as well as explaing some things.
For me Ash Hardell is a role model. it isn't exactilly easy to go through all of it and it's alot to figure out as well it takes alot of freaking time to figure shit out because it's pretty complicated. as well as the quistions will come where i am asking myself if i want to take T (testoterones), get some things changed on my body or if i will cut my hair. i am taking small steps right now with walking around with a binder and ''guy'' clothes what is already a huge risk for me because the people from my classes are not the nicest people so getting bullied is something i take a risk with but right now it's going fine. and i am so happy it does.
in the future i hope to do more and really be myself because right now i am not really who i want to be.it's a huge risk for me but it's also a change in my life i want to make happen and go through with. mabey i will never take T but i am still who i am or i never get things changed with my body but i can still be me, and for me that is the most inportant. this post is meant to be for me and for people who want to tell there story about LGBTQ+ or have quostions about it. i am fine with all of those because i would love to respond to both. i also know that alot of LBTQ+ people have the problem that they don't have an accepting home and that sucks alot and i want to be a hand reaching out to talk to. it's already hard enough to be who you are without getting comments on it but also being not accepting makes it harder. i would love to hear all the stories and i am open to it so much. i hope i can talk about it more in my next post and explain some more stuff or just talk about my experiences. anyway i hope to see all your responses and stories.
anyway i hope you all have a wonerfull day ^^